3 Month Recap

Needless to say, my life has changed dramatically in the last 3 months.

When I first began to look at the potential of grad school, my heart was warmed by the thought of a blank map and a willingness to travel anywhere I might desire.

That, of course, led me to Ft. Worth, Texas. And, of course, that was unendingly frustrating for quite some time, but I do love my school and I am getting used to 70 degrees in November.

While being frustrated that I was going to Texas, that move landed me a great summer job in a surprisingly refreshing island of blue amidst the sea of red. Also, my best friend was moving to Texas, so that was nice too. At least if I wasn't going to be too far from home a little piece of home could come with me.

Right before the move that friend and I started dating. So my plan to tackle the city as a newly blossomed single adult changed slightly to excitement that at least we would be close to each other.

And then, not quite 5 months after making the move which was supposed to be my declaration of freedom and opportunity to become a real person-- I realized I had fallen in love and needed to join my life to that boy's life as soon as possible.

That's the basics-- and if I've learned anything, it's this: don't even bother trying to plan your life. If I had things my way I'd be living somewhere on a coast and who knows what else. But somehow I ended up in Texas and God knew what was going on the whole time. This is never how I expected my life to go and I am unendingly happy. God's plans are so much bigger and better and surprising and perfect. So trust and look and walk ahead in faith.

So I've stopped planning. I figure, playing life by ear has worked pretty great so far and God has certainly provided.

This much I know: in 277 days my last name will change and we will start our new family here in this season-less state that I never thought I'd ever call home. And one year from there-- who knows where we'll be?

I thought I wanted an adventure. But God knew that first I needed a partner to adventure with me.

Here's to the unknown, the sweetness of surprise, and a life commitment to my best friend,
Cheers.

Sola Scriptura is impossible

The more I live, the more I am convinced that there is no such thing as "scripture alone." Every reading of scripture is an interpretation. Every translation of scripture is an interpretation. No matter how objective I think I might be, I still come to the text as a 21 year old, white, female, middle class, graduate student, who thinks a certain way, and has lived a certain experience-- all things which will necessarily influence how I read the text.

Even Martin Luther, the espouser of the doctrine, is perhaps the best example of all. Certainly he read into Paul his experience the Catholic church and his distaste of legalism. If you ask N.T. Wright, we've all misunderstood Paul ever since.

Just a little something I've been thinking. Comments welcome.

Here's to embracing the entire quadrilateral.
Cheers.

I don't know why I even try.

This always happens. I start something so good and then reality gets in the way and I have no followthrough.

Well, I have been in grad school for approximately six days now and I have already learned a few things. First and foremost: I underestimated. This is, of course, my general tendency. But the reality is-- as my father likes to say-- the higher you climb up the degree ladder, the more it consumes your life.

Let me back up and give you the good news.

I have class only on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, beginning each at one o'clock in the afternoon. This is, I do believe, the perfect schedule.

However, having now been to my third graduate level class, I realized that taking 12 hours means that I only get to pick about two things to care about other than school. In other words, my new life resolutions are basically out the window.

The reality is, I'm thus far trying to be disciplined enough to get up and study in the morning so that for my break I can go work out. This is necessary because if I am not intentional to go run on machines I will spend my entire day sitting-- as that is generally the best position for reading, translating, writing papers, and going to class.

Also, I have a boyfriend that lives only a little over an hour away that I would prefer to see on occasion.

So between trying not to eat terrible things, working out, the boyfriend, and school I'm basically maxed out. There is no time (or money) for once a week coffee shop ventures or newsweek or local politics.

I am standing by my commitment to do my dishes (a much easier task now that I have a dishwasher!) and make my bed... at least as soon as I get the bed slats from IKEA, but that is another story.

So friends, as much as I have enjoyed a summer of trying to keep up with the world and thoughts of publishing devos, etc., I think that the realities of being a good blogger are unrealistic for my life right now. I honestly have no idea how people do this grad school thing with spouses and children. It's mind-boggling.

It's not you, it's me.

Ok. I am kind of breaking up with you. But! I may still post on occasion should the Spirit still move. I am apparently taking a PhD seminar on Ezekiel so I'm sure that I will have plenty of fodder, I'm just afraid proclaiming it to cyberspace has dropped down my list of to-do's.

I think I had a point when I started this, but thinking about my massive reading list it dropped from mind.

In other news: I'm trying a new pork recipe tonight so wish me luck. :)

All my love.

Reject Fear

Sometimes, I think that Christians treat Jesus as some sort of cosmic 401k.

Which place would you like to be after  you die? Would you like to be sure that you don't end up in the terrible one?

I am so tired of this. It misses the point on so many levels.

For the first, if someone turns to Christ only because they are afraid of Hell, I doubt they'll stay there very long. Rather, I think this leads to the "faith" which only causes a person to doubt their salvation over and over and over again-- afraid that they may have missed one of the crucial steps to secure their place in Heaven.

Fear has no place when it comes to Christianity because God is love and perfect love casts out fear.

What is the other option?

I think this comes easily when one looks at the realities of Heaven and Hell. Heaven is the best place imaginable and Hell the worst (and beyond, for both). But why? Heaven is only good because it is the fullness of God's presence and Hell is only terrible because it is an absence of God's presence.

I cannot come to Christ seeking Heaven. I can only come seeking Christ.

The good news is if we seek Him and His kingdom, all these things will be given unto us as well.

But there's more good news. If the only good thing about Heaven is the presence of Christ, then I already have that. Not to say that this world could ever be Heaven-- it can't. But the thing I will have in full there, I experience more and more every day that I am here. Heaven is now, it is a reality in which I live.

All I'm trying to say is this: do we focus on the afterlife at the expense of focusing on the person of Christ? Does Heaven become just another gift we seek instead of the Giver?

Just something to think about.

All my founts are in you, Jesus.

Here's to embracing life now.
Cheers.

Harry Potter and the Identity of Christ

I have been looking forward to writing this post for quite a while now, but I wanted to wait until I saw the last movie to gather my thoughts. Fair warning, I will try to avoid spoilers, but no promises. So, sorry in advance if you haven't read/seen the end yet, this post is all about the end of the series.

Ironically, the Harry Potter series has helped me come to a better understanding of something that has always been hard for me to come to terms with-- namely, the humanity of Christ. It is easy for me to understand that Jesus is God, that he should be worshipped, that he has been exalted to the right hand of the Father, etc. That's probably why John is my favorite gospel, its Christology is the highest (and it tells the best stories!). I really didn't even realize this was a problem until I took life of Christ my junior year at OBU. But it turns out that although I would have of course affirmed that Jesus was both 100% man and 100% God, I didn't really have any conception of what that actually meant.

So how has Harry Potter helped? It's actually easier for me to see in the movies-- partially because they simplified some of the stubbornness of his character-- but Harry's struggle with his identity and what he must do for the good of the wizarding world seems to have some definite parallels to the way Jesus must have wrestled with his identity.

When Harry was a baby, it was prophesied that he would be the chosen one, that his identity and destiny were intimately tied up with that of Voldemort-- and thus, the fate of his entire world. As he learns more and more what this means, he finally comes to the point where he must choose to die in order (basically) to save the world. He must lay down his life willingly and for those whom he loves. In the movie, I watched him struggle with this new revelation in a way that reminded me particularly of Gethsemane. Thinking, "I don't really want to do this, I'm terrified, but I must."

Of course, the parallel isn't perfect. Although Harry and Jesus both make their sacrifice out of love, I think obedience to God is an important part of Jesus decision which does not really occur in the Harry Potter series. There is not a divine figure in the series, and although Dumbledore comes closer than anyone else, Harry is not sitting on the steps of Hogwarts thinking, "Not my will, but yours." There is a sort of obedience component to Harry's actions since Dumbledore is the one who told him what would be necessary, but it's not as if Harry's sacrifice was a plan that Dumbledore had up his sleeve the whole time. Rather, circumstances more than anything dictates the choice which Harry must make.

So although Jesus' quest for his own identity was probably not quite as messy as Harry's (and he had the Holy Spirit to help him figure it out), I do think that at times I forget that dying on the cross was an actual terrifying decision that Christ had to make in order to be obedient to that which God had called him to be. Of course, now would be a good time to include my favorite cinematic rendition of this moment. It comes from The Miracle Maker-- yes! Claymation Jesus! This scene is actually cartoon because whenever something is happening in Jesus' head (for lack of better term), like the temptation etc., they do it in drawn-animation instead of claymation (which is, of course, one of the most brilliant aspects of the film to me). Also, ironically, Ralph Fiennes (Voldemort) plays Jesus. Video won't let me embed, so find it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFxE6-uPrM0

I should say, it's not as if Jesus was just some Joe Blow who became the savior of the world. From his infancy, random people would pick up the baby Jesus and talk about the Lamb of God. Probably his talk about the bird and the bees with Mary was interesting to say the least. For sure, he and John the Baptist both had it figured out by his baptism when God reaffirmed it, and I'm assuming he knew something by the time he's blowing rabbis' minds in the temple at age 12.

But as a human, Jesus wrestled with his call just like the rest of us. He constantly sought time with his Father in order to do his ministry and he did everything he did by the work of the Holy Spirit. And at least once, he sat in a garden and said, "Are you sure God? This is the way?"

It should be noted, the struggle is real. It is not sinful-- it is even expected! But at the end each of us must follow our savior's example and come to the conclusion, "Not my will, but yours be done," at which point we pick up our crosses and follow him.

Sometimes, I forget that. But Harry Potter reminded me. That's all I'm trying to say.

Oh, if you'd like someone who disagrees with me totally, you can find it here. I think he misreads Harry's return and that he comes back because of the greater magical power of love, but whatever. Just a little something to spice up the discussion.

All truth is God's truth.
Here's to using my baccalaureate education to the best of my ability.
Cheers.

Too Legit to Quit.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have legitimized myself as a blogger. This is my first post from my new MacBook Pro... or as I have been calling it, my iToy. I absolutely love it. Here's the very first thing I did (because, obviously the most important thing for a new computer is a desktop picture):

So as soon as I figure out how to use iBlog or whatever it is that could make this place snazzier, maybe I'll make this place a little snazzier.

Here's to owning way too much computer for my purposes.

Cheers.

Pacifism and Safety

Long story short, living alone in a big house has got me thinking about safety. Is there a way to protect myself while maintaining my commitment to non-violence?

I suppose I should back up. Last weekend I heard what sounded like someone trying to get in my backdoor twice. After calling the police and having a mild panic attack, Scott talked me down and a very big (and nice) officer came and checked out my backyard. There was nothing there and the officer also drove around the block a couple times so I felt safe enough to go to bed.

Now, I know that I did the right thing, calling the police and having them come make sure everything was ok. But I had been in kind of a terrible position. I didn't really have anything to protect myself-- not even a baseball bat. The officer said I should consider getting a gun-- but I don't really believe in guns and as my mother said, "Unless you also plan on getting shooting lessons you have no business owning something you don't know how to use."

Very well put.

Further, I don't know that I could ever point a gun at someone-- even if my life was in danger. Call me stupid, but don't forget that it takes me a good 15 minutes to squash a bug. (That happened to me AGAIN, btw. I really need to grow a pair.) So even if the gun wasn't loaded, I don't think I could be intimidating pointing an empty gun at someone anyway.

So until then, I ordered pepper spray and I am always sure to lock all of my deadbolts. Also, I'm considering finding a place to take Krav Maga lessons. It's always been my dad's preferred method of self defense, and I heard it did wonders for J-Lo's bottom when she was preparing for her role in Enough. I call that a win-win.

But even in my rejection of guns, I can't help but wonder-- can a pacifist really embrace pepper spray and martial arts? Is it enough to settle for only non-lethal methods of self-defense?

I can't help but think of the words of Jesus, "Those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it." (Luke 9:24 NRSV)

Now, because my mother reads this, I'm putting up a disclaimer now. If someone breaks into my house, I'm going to pepper spray them and call the police-- and figure out the theological implications of my decision later.

And ultimately, my life is always in God's hands and every breath I take is by his grace. So above all, I trust him with my safety.

But, just because I trust God to give me my daily bread doesn't mean I'm quitting my job and saying, "I don't need a paycheck, God will take care of me." And just because I trust God to protect me doesn't mean I'm going to leave all my doors unlocked and put a sign out front that says, "I live alone, break in at will!"

So where do I come out in the end? Unsure. But ready with some pepper spray, prayer, a cell phone... and possibly a new work out regimen.

So what should a Christian think about self defense? Where is the balance between practical and faithful? Thoughts?

Real Men Don't Fight on Twitter?

If you haven't seen it yet, you should probably know that there is currently a twitter war going down between Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) and The Village Voice (@villagevoice) over sex trafficking.

Yes. It's as bizarre as it sounds.

Now, I haven't read everything that's been posted because twitter conversations between two people with as many followers as both of them have are notoriously difficult to read and I don't have to patience to put up with that amount of (pardon my French) bitchiness. I think that might make me a lazy blogger, but points for honesty?

Anyway, here's my understanding of the situation. Ashton and his wife (the lovely Demi for any pop culture newbs) have created a series of PSA's meant to bring attention to the issue of underage sex trafficking by attacking the demand. The idea is that "Real men don't buy girls." The ads feature Ashton and friends (Justin Timberlake, Drake, Jason Mraz, etc.) doing super manly things and then concluding "Real men (fill in the blank). Real men don't buy girls." This one is probably my fave:

So the village voice decides that it knows everything better than everyone and writes a pretty nasty article attacking Ashton and his campaign. (Read it here.) Their basic complaints are as follows: 1) Ashton and Demi did not have the correct numbers in their campaign. 2) These silly ads take away the seriousness of the situation. 3) Money should be spent on rehab for victims, not on "prosecuting working women" and "attacking the rights of men."

So, since I have a blog and once wrote a paper about modern slavery in Freshman comp, I decided to weigh in.

Here's the truth. Village Voice attacks Ashton and Demi for being celebs who don't check their facts. But, being celebs is not the reason they got those numbers "wrong." According to Village Voice's own article, almost every major newspaper in the US (very credible ones too) have quoted that same study. So if we're not going to hold journalists accountable for citing a "faulty study" then you can hardly expect it from two good hearted celebrities. I'm not saying it makes it ok to quote bad data-- I'm just saying it's definitely more understandable than Village Voice gives them credit for. And, in the name of wanting to help the victimized, I'm willing to give Ashton a little slack.

Further, my understanding of human trafficking is that 1) it happens in America, 2) it happens more overseas, 3) most of the girls in both cases are not American. So, while the statistic on American girls being trafficked may be high (although I doubt it is as low as Village Voice claims) the number of girls being trafficked regardless of nationality or location is VERY high. With that said, attacking the source of trafficking-- men who demand the supply of girls-- will help to stop both cases. There can be no market if there is no demand. So if you attack the demand, you attack all kinds of trafficking and the numbers the Village Voice is so worried about become less important.

As to the silliness of the ads and whether or not they take away from this social issue, it makes me think that Village Voice doesn't really understand the nature of modern social movements. Especially when you have the audience that Ashton has-- and stick your nose in the air all you want, it's a much bigger audience than any newspaper-- the way to get something noticed is to be funny or controversial. Frankly, these PSA's have a lot of appeal. They use well known celebrities, they are funny, and they're pissing people off-- all things you need to get attention. While there may be some truth to the idea that these videos may trivialize the situation, I don't think that will be the overall result. Village Voice needs to wake up and smell the coffee. If they think dramatic youtube videos are going to get more attention than Ashton's they're wrong. And that's all there is to it. Ultimately, these videos are going to get a lot more people-- and probably people who aren't generally activists-- aware of the situation which will hopefully result in action. I can't help but be a fan. And if you think that Ashton is simply unable to create a serious PSA, then you haven't seen them all. Check out this one:

To me this says the use of humor is intentional in the other videos and I can't help but think the foundation is right. If they want their videos to see the most eyes, they're going about it the right way.

And finally, I agree that money should be spent rehabbing victims. But to say that money shouldn't be spent attacking the source is ridiculous. You can only put stitches on someone who keeps cutting into their arm with a chainsaw so many times before you realize you need to try and take away the chainsaw. That might be the most ridiculous image, but I think it's appropriate. We need to bandage the arm and work at not only removing the chainsaw, but destroying it.

I'm not going to argue whether it's a woman's right to sell herself or it's a man's right to buy pornography. But what I will say is this: we need to work to give women who find themselves at the end of their rope other options. We need to make it easier for women to get education or skill training or jobs or something to help keep them out of the industry. Because I don't care if you say it is her choice or not-- nothing good can come of selling yourself. It cannot be good for those women or their children. We need to make another way to earn a living more accessible. Then, hopefully, the problem won't be one we need to debate.

As for the pornography/free speech debate, the reality is that the pornography industry exploits women. So call it art, call it free speech, call it whatever-- but I know that in your heart of hearts you don't want your daughter/mom/sister/friend to be one of the women that happens to. I'm not saying it should be made illegal, but I am saying from the looks of the Village Voice article it seems that they don't think child pornography is too big of an issue. And that is despicable. Further, defending the exploitation and objectifying of women as "a man's rights" is one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard. I don't have any sort of answers but I think it's a real issue that one industry feeds the other.

The last thing I'll say is this: if activism is occurring for nothing more than image and activism's sake, it's worthless. Let me explain. It's too easy to take the position of "I cared about sex trafficking before it was cool to care about sex trafficking." But if that's how you feel, then you probably don't actually care about stopping sex trafficking but your appearance. Village Voice (and others like them) need to get off their high horse and instead of criticizing celebrities for being "bad activists" be excited that someone with 7 million followers on twitter is taking up this important issue as their cause. Like it or not, Ashton is going to reach way more people than Village Voice could ever dream of. Why wouldn't you take advantage of having someone like that on your team? Aren't we all working for the same cause here, trying to stop children from being exploited?

A wise man (Jesus, not Abraham Lincoln) once said, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." That is the ultimate truth. If we spend our time arguing, that's time, energy, and resources not put towards defending the little girls that need it. I suggest Village Voice takes their nose out of the air and see that being a bitchy know-it-all is not going to make people listen to you, much less like you and want to work with you.

So pop culture is a little shallow? The thing is, you need the shallow people (and their money) to get things done. So, I vote, embrace it and use it and maybe we can do a little good in this world.

Besides, if village Voice was really as much better than Ashton as they keep claiming, they wouldn't take the time to fire off 140 character insults. That is the stupidest part of all. Twitter fight, really? I'm kind of disappointed in both of you. All I can hope is this will bring attention to the travesty of child sex trafficking. But, hey, I tend to be an optimist.

This has been very long and editorial, so if you stuck in until the end, I owe you a donut or something. With that said, I would love some feedback. Thoughts? Pop culture activism, good or bad?

Here's to getting things done.

Cheers.

Power of Presence

"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God." Luke 6:20

Since I haven't shared a story from Jamaica yet, and it's been a slow week at the office, I would like to write up the craziest thing that happened to me on my most recent excursion to that magically green island.

The Clarendon infirmary is a government run facility in Maypen, Jamaica which cares for the mentally and physically handicapped. Although I have only been to the infirmary four times, I know that place has changed my life in very tangible ways.

Not only is the infirmary different from any other place I've ever been-- it's probably different from any place in America. When you first get out of the safety of the van, the first thing you will notice is the smell. Understaffed and poorly supplied, there is little hope of even keeping the patients clean-- let alone keeping the flies away. Once you adjust to the smell, you look around and take in the seeming hopelessness of people who have nothing. Bodies have betrayed those who live in the infirmary in ways that most acquainted with western medicine never imagined possible.

The first time I went to the infirmary in 2006, I was a 17 year old on a team of adults. So when I met Karen, possibly the most able person at the infirmary, and found out that we were the same age, I couldn't be pulled away. I spent my whole time there with Karen, listening to her talk about how much she loved helping the nurses take care of her fellow residents. I sat there with my whole life ahead of me-- she had been in the same place she lived now since she was five years old with little hope of change. Meeting Karen really changed me.

Scott, Karen, and Me in 2006

So when I came back in 2008, Karen was the person I looked forward to seeing again the most. Again, I spent my whole time with her.  When I asked Karen if she remembered me, she said yes-- but I was unsure if that was true. But then she asked me if Scott was with me again. I was so humbled and amazed in that moment. One of my teammates brought a polaroid camera-- so I left her with a small instant picture.

I didn't get a chance to go back to Jamaica again until a few weeks ago. It was now almost 5 years since I met Karen and 3 and a half since the last time I saw her. When the entire team went to the infirmary I did not see her but spent my time with a couple of the other residents without much thought. Luckily, I got another chance to go to the infirmary, this time for a full day. 

I was back with the residents I had spent time with just two days earlier and was headed to grab some lotion out of the office where we had put our stuff. As I was walking down one of my students said, "Hey, Veronica-- someone is looking for you!" I thought it had to be a mistake, I had just been with the only people who I had seen that week. But Courtney was insistent, "Get over here!"

When I walked over, there was Karen. Apparently, Courtney had asked her if she remembered her, to which Karen replied, "Are you Veronica?" Courtney said no, but told her that I was there. Karen said, "Veronica is here? Will you go get her?" Courtney, thinking that I had seen her just last Tuesday thought nothing of it.

When I went with Karen to her bed, she showed me the polaroid picture from 3 years ago that she kept on her nightstand. I asked, "How did you know I would be here?" She said simply, "I didn't."

The truth is this-- taking the time to love someone will change their life. Never underestimate the impact God allows you to have. I had only spent about two hours with this girl, but she remembered me as her friend-- and even asked for me more than 3 years later! 

Iron sharpens iron,   and one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Knowing Karen changed my life. Little did I know that I was changing her life as well. There is unbelievable power in simply being present. Giving value to those whom the world overlooks is an act with eternal value. Let us not forget.

Here's to serving a God who blows my mind without a second thought.

Cheers.

The Unlikely Disciple

I recently finished reading this:

For anyone who doesn't know, the premise of The Unlikely Disciple is simple. A journalism major at Brown University decided to do a "study abroad" at Liberty University in order to explore the cultural gap created in America by the "God divide." No big deal. In this book, he chronicles stories from his life at Liberty, the people he met, the things he learned, and the ways his ideas were shaped.

The book is really very good and thought provoking-- but probably my biggest take away is the way that Kevin Roose's open-mindedness puts me to shame.

Let me explain. It would be easy to go into a place like Liberty ready to mock and be cynical and right all the time-- even (or maybe especially) for someone like me who already accepts the ludicrous idea that the Son of God was raised from the dead, loves me, and is leading my life. But Kevin goes into it looking to understand and bridge the divide. Really, that is to be commended.

He doesn't come away from the experience a conservative evangelical-- or really an evangelical at all-- but he does bring good insight to light on things he learned from his semester at "Bible boot camp."

At one point during his semester, Kevin scored an interview with Jerry Falwell and writes about how, political ideology aside, the man is actually quite likable. He reveals the other side of Falwell, the smiling man who brags on his grandkids and drinks a diet peach snapple everyday.

This scene gave me pause. How could this man be likable?? This man who used his influence to spread hate, homophobia, and a really terrible political agenda in the name of Jesus? How could there be anything to redeem this despicable man?!

But that's when I realized that if Jerry Falwell is a human, it is much harder to vilify him. It is easy for me to look at a man's sermons and political actions and allow hate to brew in my heart. But what about the fact that that man has a family? Or when he's not spewing anti-gay paranoia, he's playing practical jokes? That man is much harder to hate.

My problem, often, with the Christian Right is their refusal to see that God loves every person. People are valuable because God created them so. And probably, when people see that they will be more likely to turn to their creator than if they are simply scared of Hell.

But this scene made me realize that if God loves every person, then that includes Jerry Falwell. And as much as I disagree with everything he stands for, hating him will only lead to hard-hearted bitterness in my own life.

So here I am, someone who claims to worship a God who loves and values all, being put to shame by this author who looks only to have an open mind. Humility is sometimes hard to swallow.

Father, forgive me my inability to love. Allow me to see the places of my heart where my flesh takes over and continue to work them out. Give me the wisdom to discern between righteous anger and personal hate. Remind me again and again that I do not have everything figured out-- and give me an eternally teachable and discerning spirit. And above all, allow me to pray for those with whom I disagree, trusting that only you can change their hearts. Amen.

Here's to good, thought-provoking reads and an open mind.
Cheers.

Living Alone

This post will concern lessons I've garnered thus far in my first real adult experience.

My host left for Colorado last Friday in order to explore the peace of the mountains for 6 weeks. This, of course, leaves me with a whole house to myself and freedom from most responsibilities.

There are some definite bonuses to being roommate-less. I can listen to whatever music I want to while I get ready, I do everything on my own schedule, I never have to worry about being interrupted or being rude. I always get the remote and if I want quiet it's mine. Above all, there's no one to judge me when I decide to get a pizza and watch "Dating in the Dark" reruns (guilty!).

While I am enjoying all of this freedom, today I hit my first drawback. I can deal with the loneliness and I have enough deadbolts to make me feel safe.

But this morning, there was a giant beetle in my shower and it took me a good 15 minutes to kill it.

GIANT. BEETLE. DISGUSTING.

It may sound stupid, but that's my real life. I don't want to kill bugs; I just don't want them to touch me. And that desire is so strong it really takes a lot for me to get close enough to squish it. I even prayed for courage, but then I felt ridiculous praying for help killing something. Call me a gentle soul-- or something like that.

Well, 15 minutes and a plaid ked later, the bug was taken care of and I got in the shower. Bugs be warned. But I really hope that whoever I live with next is more capable than I am. Of course, I probably should've figured out that this was not going to be my strong suit when I was rendered completely incapable by the cockroaches we found in our room the last day in Jamaica. There's something about insects that turn me into approximately a seven year old girl thinking nothing but, "Oh my goodness someone make this safe again IamnotmovingfromthisspotuntilthatthingisGONE!!"

Well, adventures in adulthood. We all have to grow up some time.
Cheers.

Vacation Time, Brothers!

Dearest fans, I apologize for the delay, but I've been on vacation. I'll explain my life to you with a little list.

Since you last saw me I've...

• Been to 3 weddings (and bridesmaided one)
• Spent an excellent week with the boyfriend in my hometown
• Went to the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha
• And the BEST used book store ever-- Jackson Street Book Sellers (also in Omaha)
• Led a high school mission to Jamaica
• Started VBS back in Dallas

It's been a little crazy. I'll spice things up with a story or two, but I'm looking forward to getting back to life as normal... or at least as normal as it gets these days.

Cheers.

VP

Well, we're still here.

So the rapture didn't happen. I do feel a little bad for Harold Camping, but regardless, I had an excellent night on Saturday.

The morning was a little bit of a bust-- DMV was closed then I went to about 6 different stores before I found somewhere I could send a book at the media shipping rate and ended up here:

But that is just life in North Dallas. And ultimately I got my book shipped and I'll just have to go to the DMV in the morning before work. (Boo, adulthood.)

But for Saturday night, Carolyn invited some friends over for a dinner party and it was a really great time. Picture it: me and eight 60-something Baptist democrats talking about life, college, comedy, spiritual gifts, and all other things good. I got some very good advice and heard some of the best stories.

It's got me thinking: perhaps wisdom really is found with age. Not as an automatic gift that comes with gray hair, but there is really something to experience that brings understanding. A well lived life teaches without trying.

Another thing I'm realizing: there are people who are like me. My whole life I've been in mostly conservative circles wondering if I'm a heretic or a crazy. But here I've found that really I just fall into a different camp and there are people who think like me and love Jesus with their whole hearts. And they have been incredibly supportive.

Best words spoken to me so far: Don't worry about being a woman preacher. Just be a good one.

I am continuing to learn.

Cheers.

Que Sopresa!

26 points to anyone who can name the reference in the title.

Well, I did not get to check out the half priced book store on my day off. Instead, the boyfriend and I both made a semi-spontaneous (we decided the night before) trip to Gainesville for a little date. And although there is nothing in Gainesville and he had to drive about 60 more minutes than I did, it was a wonderful way to spend my free day.

Things I learned:
-a deserted outlet mall may be the most depressing thing I've ever seen
-there is a zoo in Gainesville
-it is strange
-if you are ever there, everything is on California street
-the zoo is overpriced but a good way to kill an hour with someone you just want to spend time with

Happy Thursday... here's me being a giraffe's eye. We don't get it.

With that said, if anyone has some good suggestions of things that are halfway between Dallas and OKC, I'm listening. :) Anything to make the distance smaller is beyond welcome.

Here's to spontaneity and good company.

Cheers.

Location, location, location.

Although I am still getting used to much of the transition and there are a lot of things that are not quite so fun (early morning wake up, necessity of adult clothes, new distance component to the relationship, missing community, etc.), north Dallas is certainly not one of them.

I absolutely love living in a real city again-- or perhaps for the first time since Blue Springs is ultra suburban. It's a good place to live [and a good song to sing]. On my way to work alone, I pass two Boston Markets. TWO! Not only is there Boston Market here, but there's one right across the street from Wilshire. I know, that's probably not that exciting to anyone else out there, but I'm going there for lunch today so I'm super hyped.

I even don't really mind my 25 or so minute commute. I don't mind because it reminds me how great this city is. I keep passing things and making mental notes to go there on my day off or after work. Tomorrow is my first free day and after I get my car inspected (boo, adulthood.) I am going to a half price book store with a built in cafe. So, although I get annoyed at the 3 unavoidable school zones-- more if I want to take the route with less traffic and if there's anything that these Dallas drivers take seriously, it's school zones. 20 mph all the way, baby-- and numerous multi-minute stoplights that add a good ten minutes to the drive that REALLY should only be 15 and would be 15 in a smaller city, I secretly enjoy the chance to sing music loudly and get acquainted with my new surroundings.

Also, the roads here are a grid-- even I can't get lost. Only day two and I no longer needed a GPS to get to work. Boo-yah.

So following through with one of my new life resolutions, non-starbucks coffee shop number one was Saxby's.

Although I liked the atmosphere (or really, the three people sitting in there not speaking English), the chai was mediocre. :( So, sorry Saxby's but good chai is a must. I might be willing to go back and try an espresso drink, but we'll see. Luckily, my date with myself was saved by this:

This book is so great. If you don't have it yet you need to get it or borrow it and read it ASAP. Of course, Tina Fey is kind of my idol so I'm a little biased. But it's a great laugh and good things to think about.

So far, so good. Points thus far for urbanity and comediennes. Oh! And Boston Market. :)

Cheers.

Hello, Texas.

Err, howdy, I suppose.

It's here. I've been looking forward to this part of my life for a long while, but now it's here. I have a bachelor's degree. I live in a new state (again). I'm working 40 hours per week. It's a lot.

It's a weird in between-- living in the area (almost) of my future but not in my new home. Of course, I wonder if my new apartment will even feel like home. I guess I'll find out around August 10. This is where I live, but I don't know where anything is. I need a GPS and bing to get anywhere. Luckily, my phone has the capabilities of both. I get two and a half days off per week, but I don't know anyone. I think I'll be doing a lot of reading.

I've made a few commitments; I like to call them new life resolutions. You see, I'm going to be an adult-- I'm convinced. So I've decided to start acting like an adult. This blog will record the results.

I'm going to have pictures to make the posts more exciting. I swear.

Anyway, here are my resolutions. I'm open to suggestions for more.

1. Make my bed every day.
2. Do all dishes and clean kitchen before I go to bed.
3. Visit a non-starbucks coffee shop once every week.
4. Cook dinner for each of my neighbors.
5. Renew my newsweek subscription and get involved in local politics.

Most of these don't really apply until after I move to Ft. Worth. Until then, I'll be here in the in between in Dallas. I'm going to try to keep this thing updated and interesting, but we'll see how it goes. Look forward to theological musings, funny stories from the job, and adventures in adulthood.

Cheers.

Miss these kids so much my heart might explode.